Monster
by Evanescent Changling
Summary: There was a reason that Senketsu pushed himself through the atmosphere so desperately. But Ryuko wouldn't have ever known. "So stop crying yourself to sleep, little one, and be brave. I love you." Complete.


Monster

The way she moved. Her laugh that echoed for miles within his heart. Her gleaming eyes that looked down at him, that goofy grin plastered across her face like silly putty. His heart melted for this child. As it would for what seemed like forever, even in death. But he had to die, and for more reasons than just one. Reasons she would never understand fully if she tried.

But it wasn't her fault. She was but a small child. He may have been made into some Godrobe uniform later than the day she was born, but he was older than her. Much, much older. He remembered glimpses of space, the glittering stars, the destructive force of blackholes. He remembered drifting. So much drifting, red velvet fabric floating away like the embers of his remains. The floating that cradled him to earth in pieces at a time. And… that gnawing hunger. The craving for blood. It was so powerful that no words could describe it so easily.

It was just… so _strong_. It clawed at him, hissed at him. Possessed him.

And he felt so helpless.

* * *

"Put me on," The animate uniform insisted, with a half-slapped on grin. His eyes widened, a hint of obscene maniacal properties. "_Put me on put me on put me on!_" He laughed. Eyes wide, strained, bloodshot. Insane. He had gone insane. Ryuko stared at him with fear, pinned to the wall by both his sleeves and at his mercy. Her mouth opened to blurt something, but he acted quickly and bared fabric fangs at her. "Put me on and feed me blood!" He stared at her hungrily, almost unable to resist biting into her shoulder. Having a bloodlust was… uncontrollable, he duly noted.

The girl was fixated on something else. "Where did you learn to talk?! Uniforms _do not_ talk!" Ryuko shrieked, writhing beneath his grip to break free, only for him to wrap himself around her tighter. Her wide blue eyes stared into his bloodlust-stricken vermillion, hands clammy and trembling as she tried to shake him off. "Uniforms don't talk!" She repeated it like a broken recorder would.

And it kind of ticked him off. "_That doesn't matter right now!_" He screeched at the top of his fabric lungs, chucking the human to the ground. "And if you don't put me on, I'll force you to put me on!" Still overwhelmed by the "uniform's" activeness, Ryuko struggled, spitting at him in a fit of rage.

"Stop it! Stop! For God's sake _stop!_" She shoved at him, terrified, but she was limited in movement as the material coiled his sleeves around her arms and mouth opened to swallow her. Ryuko wriggled, head forced through the neck hole, arms and legs dragged through equivalent openings. Blundering in the dark gloom of the basement, the girl attempted to rip him off, wailing, "Just stop! Get off of me!" He held on for dear life as Ryuko wriggled, grabbing hold of him and clawing at the straps that were almost glued to her skin. "What kind of skimpy outfit is this, anyway?!"

His insane properties aside, the clothing-orientated creature looked up at her from the scarf of his eye. "This is me."

"And… what _are_ you?" Hearing his calm voice seemed to bring her temper to a simmer.

He strained his eye; contemplating whether he could entrust her with his true self. Hell, he couldn't frickin' _tell_ her that he was some sort of fabric alien designed to take over the world. He played the amnesia card. "I… don't know." He fed her details about her father, avoiding gushing about how cute she was when she was three (who _wouldn't?_ The kid was practically an angel.) Matoi had informed him to keep the plan discreet; the kamui wasn't about to let him down. And… if he told Ryuko about the extraterrestrial properties, he didn't know what she would do.

"_If I told you what I was,_

_Would you turn your back on me?_"

* * *

It had come to Senketsu's attention that humans had a disciplined social ethic code. And by that, he meant the dress code; it was strict and a little ridiculous to him. They refused to wear clothes that they considered "distasteful" and "kinky." This, of course, would include he himself—regardless of it being his natural form—because it exposed too much skin. And yet some of their religions state that it is a sin to wear clothing in the first place.

How humans confused him.

Regardless, it seemed like Ryuko was one of those people who paid a certain amount of attention to those social morals. He could feel her shame coursing through every fibre in his body when their Synchronization was over. He could feel her tears when people jibed at it, even when she tried to hide them. He could feel every blush, every emotion, every regret when they Synchronized. Senketsu was not ashamed of what he was; Ryuko was. Yet underneath it all, he tasted something bitter, something with an iron taste similar to her blood mixed with the bitterness of what he assumed her humiliation.

He was so wrong. So very wrong. It became stronger and stronger, the taste more vile as it coursed through her veins—it seemed the more she realized how powerful they were, the more powerful this tang was. Even after they had become close; after they had become one. It remained hidden when she pushed the thought away, and even though Senketsu could not read those dull blue eyes of hers, he suddenly wished he could. He wished he could see what was bothering his human (though mainly it was to get such a bitter taste out of his mouth.)

_"You wanted blood," Ryuko spat at him, her fiery blue eyes seething. "You getting full now?" _

_He tasted it immediately when he responded, "No." When her heart picked up, he quickly added, "But in about five minutes, you're going to lose consciousness…" Something to distract her. Anything. He didn't like seeing her like this. The calm, cool child was now a shaking, clammy mess of what she once was. _

_But she kept beating on his appetite bitterly. "Then maybe you shouldn't drink so much of my damn blood!"_

But when he finally realized how to recognize each taste to her emotions, he felt his imaginary gut twist.

_Fear_.

But an unasked question remained lingering in his blood-starved thoughts: fear of what?

"_Ever since I could remember,_

_Everything inside of me,_

_Just wanted to see in…_"

* * *

He was beginning to notice something bizarre about himself growing more and more—_daily._ Like his thirst for blood wasn't enough anymore. But if that wasn't, what would be? Senketsu shuddered, feeling goose bumps travel up the spinal part of his fabric. Quickly he changed the thought before it grew any darker, just as Ryuko approached and ran her hand along his shoulder area, jerking back when she felt his chills. "Senketsu…" She murmured faintly. "You okay?" Her short, bobbed indigo hair caught his eye when he refused to look at hers.

Mako's bright eyes shone when she skipped to Ryuko's side. The older girl turned to her friend at once. "Mako, feel this. Does it feel weird to you?" Ryuko guided Mako's hand to his chest and let the eager junior run her palm across Senketsu's fabric skin. Almost instantaneously, Mako's rich brown eyes widened.

"Yeah! That feels weird! It's almost like goose bumps!"

"Goose bumps? Can clothes even have goose bumps?" Ryuko asked, sceptical. Her eyes blinked as she glanced at him. "Hmm…" Senketsu could feel her worried eyes bear into his own, but his gut churned like crazy—if he even had one. Just looking at his human child made him feel ill. He watched in relief as Mako coaxed Ryuko away to sleep, reminding her that "your friend needs to rest too! When I'm scared, I have to sleep on it!" What a weird child.

When they returned to school the following morning, Ryuko came across Junketsu. This surprised them both. "Is that why you had goose bumps last night? Because you sensed him?"

Senketsu didn't respond.

"_I get the feeling just because,_

_Everything I touch isn't dark enough…_

_That this problem must lie in me."_

* * *

_"No… No. No, please!"_

_The next words chills Ryuko to the bone, as she watched him in her lucid dream._

"_For God's sake, STOP!_"

"SENKETSU!" Ryuko's scream filled the quiet morning household, her hand reaching out to grab at the thin air before her. As she caught her breath, her wide eyes glared around the room, searching out the threat that was trying her hurt her Senketsu. But the household was soft, the gentle breathing of the family soothing her nerves. She glanced up from her sleeping bag to the rack behind her, expecting to see Senketsu sleeping soundly, but her heart burst when her pale blue eyes laid sight on the vacant rack hanging from the closet.

Just as she began to panic, another surprise was in store when the city suddenly exploded with the sound of wailing sirens.

_Some time later~_

Senketsu struggled to hold Maiko still as Ryuko made a fist, lips curled back in a threatening snarl. He hardly paid any attention to their little dialogue, gripping Maiko tight even as she tried to get out of the "useless kamui uniform". He thought that offensive, but refused to let her slip out. Something made him want to… Well, his appetite was bubbling over the edge. Maybe he didn't like this girl, maybe that was why he wanted to… Wait, what the hell was he _saying_? He could never drain out _anyone_!

Yet, something clawed at his stomach, like he had been attacked by an infection that somehow crawled inside. Oddly, that seemed… accurate. He had a dream the night before; Ryuko probably saw it too. Maybe that was why he heard her scream echo through the house.

He vowed to himself that when Maiko got herself a beating, he would ensure himself to spit her blood out.

_"I never said that I want this.  
This burden came to me,  
And it's made its home inside."_

* * *

_For the first time in his life, Senketsu was terrified. _

_Ryuko's blood was boiling over the edge. He tried to warn her. He really did. But in the end, how could one calm down a girl who has suffered a fate like hers? He gasped as the pain and dizziness set in, lurking like a trap, waiting to bite into him. "Ryuko, calm down! If your blood gets any hotter I won't be able to control myself—" They both let out a screech as their Synchronization became quite the contrary of harmony. He felt himself stretch and sway and grow—much like a monster. He felt daggers of a shark spit the fabric of his jaw and he gave a cry of pain. His eyes widened, crazed, loss of control._

_She was his host—entirely._

_She stood, paralyzed like a deer in headlights, her eyes wide with fear and with pain. Never mind her being stripped of her uniform in public; no one cared by this point. All had their eyes fixated on the monster feeding off of her blood like a vampire in the form of garments. As Ryuko stared at him, tears pricking her eyes as she realized what she had done to him, his jaws opened wide and his teeth sank into her, biting down with everything he had. In spite the pain, she chewed her lip until she tasted blood and wriggled inside the beast's mouth, becoming Synchronized in the most painful way imaginable. _

_His mouth suddenly took shape around her body again as clothing would (and should!) and by this point, she lost everything in her conscience. Her world darkened, easing into the black void of her mind._

**_Ryuko… I'm sorry, Ryuko. This shouldn't have ever happened_**_._

_Smack! Smack!_

_Mako was slapping her to her senses. "Ryuko! Snap out of it!" Ryuko gasped, quickly forming back into her original form, leaning away from Mako's angry assaults._

_"I'm okay! I'm okay! Geezus!" Smack! "Mako, I swear to God—" Smack!_

_Mako raised her hand up threateningly again when her friend eased backwards in defence. "Gah! I'm sorry, Mako! I'm sorry for losing myself!" Ryuko crumpled in defeat, gazing down at the uniform, whose eye slowly met her gaze. Her heart paused. "I'm so sorry for dragging you into this, Senketsu… I'm so sorry." Senketsu felt himself loosen at her words._

_It wasn't her fault at all. "It's okay," He murmured softly. "I'm just glad to see you safe." Later she declared he was crying "bitter tears" when they Synchronized; she said he was crying because he didn't want to get involved with her rage._

_But he was crying because he had involved **her** with **his** blood thirsty nature. His appetite, his monstrous form… They had acted on his loss of control. Then he realized: the only reason he hadn't hurt Ryuko yet was because of his self-control. He had been suppressing his appetite. But then, his gut churned when it dawned on him that he wouldn't always have this self-awareness. How long would it be before he attacked her like that again?_

"Are you scared of me, Ryuko?" He murmured, watching her as he dangled from the rack. She slept, she ate, she stared at him. He could almost taste that now-familiar bitter tang when she looked at him with those vacant blue eyes of hers. Ryuko's mouth opened, lips quivering, before she seemed to think better of what she was about to say and declared to him that she was only frightened of herself, of what her rage could do to them.

She _lied_ to him.

She had _never_ lied to him before.

"_And if I seemed dangerous,_

_Would you be scared?_"

* * *

"I was never human in the first place, was I? I'm a Life Fibre monster… Just like you!" Ryuko raved, seething… raging, eyes stormy and dark as she whirled around to glare at Senketsu. His eyes, wide with shock, inflicted an emotion in her eyes that sent him reeling: a bitter taste. A tang he had grown so accustomed to. The storm around them raged on, fire burning and consuming every lifeless thing in its path, but neither took their eyes off one another. Nonon and the Elite Four watched the two of their gazes burn and flicker with chaos, NudistBeach organization promptly echoing their astonishment and pain at Ryuko's outburst.

Senketsu's mouth opened but no words left his lips but her name. "Ryuko…" His whisper flowed through her ear like a calming breeze but her nerves were not soothed by it. He wished he could explain to her that just because a Life Fibre's biological properties had been spliced with her genetics, did not imply that she carried its malicious nature around with her. But Ryuko was in a raving mess and not one word would get her to understand that. Just as he attempted to serenade her fury, her eyes sparked to life again.

She raged on. "Just looking at you pisses me off! It reminds me of how stupid I really am!" Though her words were harsh and pain was deep, Senketsu looked into those lifeless eyes and saw that her agony reflected his own: regret. Confusion. Loss.

Fear.

She didn't want to be like him—not in the least. And Senketsu could understand that. "Ryuko…" he tried again. But she stood abruptly, staring him down with a gaze of cold hatred.

"If you understand that, then don't come clinging to me again."

And she left him in the ruins of the city, tattered and small against the wrath of destruction around him. The fire softly dulled and left in embers, its appetite fed or there was nothing left. He envied it, how it's appetite could be so easily tamed. Unlike his own blood thirst. He gazed around the leftovers of the city, eyes taking in the destroyed Covers and their connection to each other. He looked down at himself, taking in each fibre, each sleeve, every similarity he had to these creatures. And it dawned on him.

The only difference he had to these Covers was his self-awareness. Everything else… the appetite, the parasitic behaviour… the host…

"_Can I clear my conscience_

_If I'm different from the rest?_

_Or do I have to run and hide?_"

* * *

Life Fibres were meant to consume _everything living_. Not just their nervous system. It was like the Nudist Beach had told them—Senketsu was slowly killing Ryuko. And not just killing—

But, like an animal, finishing its _prey_.

If he were built to vomit, he definitely would. This child was like his own, and she saw the truth before he did: his desperation when they first met. The way she would become anaemic and look at him with that bitter tang filling his mouth. The realization that his appetite was not being fed well enough, and the way he preyed on Maiko. His monstrous state that demanded her boiling blood and that had bit down at her—the way she had lied because she _was_ afraid of him. Because she knew that no human would turn into a monster in a fit of rage.

_He_ had become the monster.

And no parent, monster or not… would parasitically destroy their _child_.

Satsuki seemed to sense his unease, as she tensed up while she gazed at the corrupt Ryuko. "Hold it together, Senketsu. We can get her back to normal." But what then? Ryuko would continue to wear him and become anaemic and sick and—

Well, slowly _die_.

Senketsu, reluctantly allied with Satsuki, could not bare to fully Synchronise with her. That would mean that Ryuko would… her fate would be dire. As a parent he refused to let that happen. So subconsciously he rejected her out of fear. Fear of himself, fear for Ryuko's health… Fear. He was scared. And when Satsuki demanded him to enter Ryuko's state of mind and unwire her, he didn't try hard enough, and it ended up Ryuko saving herself. Though as any guardian would be, he was relieved, but he couldn't suppress the raging appetite.

It was getting stronger.

_"Here I come, Ryuko!"_ _He screamed at her. Beyond the anger and manipulation webbed in her blind eyes, he began to taste something bitter again. His alarm rose when the same panic reflected in Ryuko's corrupted eyes. Even in malicious manoeuvring, she was never more terrified of him than the moment he loomed over her threateningly._

"_A monster, a monster,_

_I've turned into a monster._

_A monster, a monster,_

_And it keeps getting stronger._"

* * *

He'd never been so exhausted in his life, but never in so much agony than in that moment.

The fire raged around them as they fell into the atmosphere, Ryuko screaming, pleading, wailing for him to stop. As much as Senketsu wanted to, he couldn't risk it. He was a parasite and he did not deserve to satisfy his bloodlust appetite. He had to protect her from him. Like any child, she was crying, scared that he might be pushing himself too hard—and in response he bluntly replied that it was a little late for that. He coiled every fabric he could to cocoon her from the flares licking at her skin, praying for her health even as he quickly disintegrated into the atmosphere as a small thread of embers.

He heard her scream his name.

And then everything—every fibre of fear, every uncertainty and silent cries for her—faded into black.

"_I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,_

_I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me._"

* * *

Ryuko held her heart, eyes drifting to the sky and beyond; her eyes unknowingly tracing the atmosphere that took her Senketsu. But she heard something, his voice—it paralyzed her, even as the crowd filed around her and she was left behind in the absence of Mako and Satsuki.

_Senketsu's_ voice. He was whispering to her. Whispering like it was a farewell he couldn't fit into words in their last moments.

_Ryuko._

Her heart stopped when he called her name. Ryuko's eyes were wide as she gazed up into the sky, half-expecting to see his eye in the form of a cloud looking back at her.

_Maybe you won't understand now. But when you have accepted my fate, I want you to understand something. I would have survived it if I really wanted to. With your willpower and blood I could have. But I wouldn't._

_I wouldn't for many reasons. In the beginning when we met, I realized that there was something wrong—immediate fear, reluctance. You brushed things off as something else but it really was fear; subconsciously you were afraid of me. _

_Whether it was my power or what I was capable of, I suddenly began to understand that too. Something changed in the short moments I spent with you. Suddenly I was starving when I was "full" and I felt blood wouldn't do it anymore. I tried to suppress it, sweetheart._

_In the end, it's like suppressing rage—it comes back stronger than ever._

Her quivering lips pursed, to avoid drawing attention to herself. She pictured Senketsu struggling with this inner demon, and tears haunted her pale eyes.

_Though maybe you would have wanted me to survive anyway. I would have done anything for you, I hope you know. But this one thing was my desire. Am I not allowed to be selfish just this once?_

_But, Ryuko… to save myself would drain you entirely. _

_And I would never do that._

_So rest now. Cease crying into your sleep. Be brave. _

_I love you._

And that was it. Her eyes glimmered with tears but Ryuko held back, this time a grin gently sitting on her lips as she closed her eyes, took a breath, and turned to catch up with Mako and Satsuki.

And she didn't look back.


End file.
